Dumber Than Dumb ft. Taylor Twain
Logan Twain's sister, formerly cousin, Taylor911, provides BV's on 'Dumber Than Dumb'. The youngest PhD in US academia, at 24, is a good choice to sing about the Dumber than Dumb Generation.
Taylor Twain in Memphis, November, 2024. (Picture by Constantine Archonography.)
During the recording month of THE INCOMING STORM album in Laguna Beach, Logan’s Cousin Taylor911 traveled from Memphis to celebrate Logan’s 26th birthday, and provide backing vocals on two tracks.
I was thrilled she agreed to visit, having met her once before in 2024 when she sang on a track I produced for Logan in Memphis.
The name on her birth certificate is Taylor911. She is 5’11” and extremely attractive in the traditional American superfit way. She is extraordinarily smart and does not do small talk.
Here’s my version of the artist formerly known as Taylor911, which is shared with her permission.
Taylor911 Twain grew up in a Memphis Trailer park, believing her parents were Wayne Twain, who at 19 married Faith Twain, who was 16 at the time of her conception. Wayne was the twin brother of Logan’s father Earl. They were very close twin brothers who shared everything. They rented adjacent trailers in the same trailer park where they were born and raised. Both boys joined the Marines young; for the money and the opportunity to shoot for free. Both married sexy young girls from their Trailer park, young.
While Loretta Twain gave Earl twin boys at the first time of asking, Faith was not as fortunate. The marine corps life-choice cost both Earl and Wayne dearly. Earl lost both legs in an IED incident in Afghanistan. Wayne lost both testicles in a drink related testicle-roulette revolver incident with a .38 Special in Camp Leatherneck.
As a result Wayne was unable to provide the necessary biological components for Faith’s maternal yearning.
Faith though was a good name choice for Taylor911’s mother. Her faith led to a talk with Jesus and an arrangement was made; between Jesus, Faith and Earl, her husbands fertile twin-brother with proven provenance.
In this secretive arrangement, Earl provided the component material for Faith to birth a Twain baby, by a natural insemination process requiring just three secretive trysts. Faith gave birth to a girl-child on September 11, 2001. They named her Taylor911.
Wayne had suspicions regarding Faith’s claim of immaculate conception; eventually demanding a DNA test that conclusively established the TWAIN provenance. Wayne understood that Jesus works in mysterious ways and knowing the truth, went on to lavish the attention any immaculate conception might hope for on Taylor911, who knew nothing about any of this interwoven parental provenance.
Taylor911 grew up believing Uncle Earl was Uncle Earl, and the Twins were her cousins. Earls misfortune in the Camp Leatherneck testicle-roulette game was a secret he took with him through the goodbye door.
Faith and Wayne named their daughter Taylor911 Always-Remember Twain, but Taylor911 abandoned her second name from an early age, as soon she learned the likely destiny for a girl whose name was the acronym TART. From early one she preferred being known as Tay. At school she wrote Tay Twain on her books.
From the age of three, singing along with her cousins, it became clear that Taylor911 had the sweetest voice anyone had ever heard. Perfect pitch from the get go. Intuitive sense of timing to match the voices she followed. Logan and Jim sang with her whenever they could, practicing three part harmonies in the trailer, then seeing their mellifluous harmony singing bring down the house during Sundays church service where the Twain Twins featured Taylor911 regularly as their guest singer. Her featured song was “If you’re ready. (Come go with me.)” Sung with a five-year-old falsetto - with two part harmonies on the line ends.
Taylor911‘s fortunes went through enormous change in 2014, her 13th year.
Faith and Wayne divorced; divorce being a glamorized account of Wayne’s sudden and permanent disappearance in a haze of alcohol and meth. Taylor911 would never see or hear from Wayne again. He left nothing behind but the smell of his meth pipe.
By this time Faith had succumbed to opioid and meth abuse, combining the two by cost as she spent every last cent from Wayne’s army disability staying permanently toasted.
Faith suffered a disabling stroke in 2014, soon after Wayne’s disappearance. At 13 it fell to Taylor911 to care for her bedridden pill-popping, meth toking mother, meaning an end to school. Someone had to stay home to look after Faith. There was no money for a carer.
By a curious anomaly of DNA and fortuitous timing, shortly before she was pulled out of school, Taylor911 sat for a compulsory IQ test. Her IQ was registered at 186. This extraordinarily high score flagged to attention of a Memphian Liberal arts professor, volunteering in inner school education in a program researching the ties between socio-economic deprivation and education.
After hearing that Tay Taylor, the child with the highest score ever recorded in any Memphis school by a 13 year old, was leaving formal education to look after her ailing impoverished mother, the kindness motivated academic was struck by the wastefulness of misfortune. Misfortune that seemed certain to derail this bright young mind with a trailer-bound existence as an end of life care-giver leaving no space for educational uplift.
He intervened, enabling and funding a home education online program through The University of Memphis, matching her high IQ aptitude to a three-year degree level course through the Psychology Department engaging his professorial services, in which he mentored her education personally. Ignoring her young age in favor of her high IQ to start her at University level while in her thirteenth year.
Taylor911 took to University study like a winning racehorse. Finishing in the top percentile every semester from the outset, before graduating Magna Cum Lauda in three years with a first class Bachelor of Science degree in Psychology, after completing 42 courses all with close to perfect scores. She was sixteen. The youngest undergraduate in Memphis University history. The year was 2017.
In between caring for her mother and completing her online studies, Taylor911 sang. Whenever possible she would meet with Logan and Jim to work on three part harmony singing. In this time spent close together in the emotionally bonding business of harmony singing she became attracted to Jim. “His beautiful vulnerability.”
Neither Taylor911 nor Jim knew about the secret arrangement between Faith and Earl that made Taylor911 their half-sister as well as first-cousin. For several months in 2015, Jim, 16, and Taylor911, 14, dated although Taylor911 has never commented on speculation that their relationship was consummated.
In 2019 Logan’s mother Loretta Twain, 34 at that time was found unresponsive and malodorous in her bed by Logan. Cause of death was congestive heart failure. She had averaged two bottles of vodka daily along with what the coroner described as “excessive meth amphetamine. Enough to kill a healthy horse.” Her habit had continued and worsened after Earl’s death seven years before. At 34 she looked 79. Logan told family “Loretta died of a broken heart” which was true. His song ‘Mammas Broken heart” was a popular feature in his live set-list for some years.
After Loretta’s funeral the boys remained in the Twain-family Trailer where they found some joy rekindling their musical harmony singing in long sessions after their work day in Memphis Guns and Ammo. Meanwhile two-trailers down in the other Twain-family trailer, Taylor911 worked alone, studying for ten hours a day, while caring for her bed-ridden semi conscious mother Faith, and avoiding the twins after finding out the truth of her birth father. She struggled with feelings for both of the twins that she had to transpose from being natural to not.
How did Taylor 911 learn about her father.
In 2015, Taylor911 started dating Jim Twain. They were first cousins. After realizing that Taylor911 was seeing Jim, Faith tried to discourage the relationship by saying “First cousins shouldn’t date. What if you become pregnant.” When this discouraging narrative failed to pour the cold water Faith hoped for on the blossoming relationship, Faith arrived home to find the two canoodling on the sofa. That was her cue. Faith spilled the beans. To both Taylor911 and to Jim. “About your dad.”
For Jim things went from bad to worse. The iceberg in the Titanic of Jim’s life struck in December of 2021. While he was still reeling from the news of Taylor911 being his girlfriend, his cousin and his half-sister, having to divest from his strong feeling for this love of his life.
While working at the Memphis Gun and Ammo store where Jim was a serial employee of the month for his skill in selling guns and ammo, Jim sold a gun to a confused sounding 18 year old from Uvalde, Texas. Jim knew it was wrong to sell an assault-rifle to a troubled teen with a foreign sounding name without running mental health checks, but he also knew he needed only two more sales to win Employee of the Month for the second time since the Covid spike in gun sales. Jim placed his ambitious need for success above what he knew to be the right thing, he closed that sale, and that gun was used to kill a bunch of kids.
On May 24, 2022, 18-year-old Salvador Ramos used the military grade assault-rifle bought from Jim Twain to kill nineteen students and two teachers. Earlier that day he shot his grandmother in the face at home with the same weapon. Jim remembered this particular sale all too well. That moment of poor decision making haunted his every waking moment from that moment forwards.
Jim became caught up in the swirling riptide of misfortunes. Poor decision making born of thoughtless mindless blind-faith found him in a place of deep despair where he realized that, this time, Jesus was not going to show up in a White Rescuers outfit.
Once the first dot of wokeness was joined, the picture populated itself with clarity at astonishing speed. Pixels of truth joined together to deconstruct and invalidate the pillars of his past.
After one agonized week of unraveling his life of delusional beliefs Jim became overwhelmed by guilt at his unfortunate congenital stupidity. In an impulsive moment of genetic recidivism Jim used the same gun Earl had used for his suicide to fire a single round upward through the soft under the chin. He died instantly. The identical suicide method employed by his father.
It was June 1, 2022. Seven days after Uvalde. Jim Twain was 23. He left a single word suicide note. It read TRUMP. (In uppercase.)
On August 24, 2023, after being indicted on racketeering and related charges, Donald Trump, a former president of the United States who went on to win the 2024 presidential election, voluntarily surrendered himself to authorities at the Fulton County Jail in Atlanta, Georgia, where a mug shot of him was taken.
After Jim’s death Taylor911 and Logan became closer still. They would sing together whenever possible.
Taylor 911’s mother Faith survived until 2021, before passing in her sleep. She was 37. Taylor911 remained at her side caring for her mother until the end. From the age of 13 until 20. In those seven years in Taylor911 completed her undergrad Psychology degree, then her masters, followed directly by a PhD paper; linking income-level and literacy with the likelihood of life-ending addiction.
Her paper detailed how the low-income-illiterate class she was born into was 90% more likely to develop a life threatening addiction. Her case study was based on her mother’s example; education ended at 3rd grade level, pregnant at 16, never worked for more than $5 an hour, disabled by drug dependency by 21, bedridden in an haze of illness and drugs by 30, before dying at 37 in a body that looked eighty years old.
Her paper was widely published earning her national recognition as the youngest PhD in the USA. Her story of triumph over adversity, an academic rags to riches story of the least educated becoming the most educated, invited several agents from Hollywood interested in the rights for a Hollywood retelling. Taylor911 declined any interest in celebrity. Even when a Netflix offer of five million dollars for the rights was on offer including an approval clause enabling her to exclude details that might lead to legal problems.
Instead, in 2024 Taylor911, changed her legal name enabling her to continue her career as an academic in anonymity. For music she will be known as Taylor Twain.
Taylor guards her privacy closely. It was a condition for agreeing this promotional piece that I include this message explaining why she shared her story.
Great opportunity comes from great misfortune. “The bad luck of my early years is how I learned about the consequences of bad decision-making. After that the rest was easy. Bad luck became the best possible good-fortune for becoming who I chose to be. If I could do it from there, anyone can. I could never have done what I did without the will to take control of my own life by making only good decisions. There is no such thing as bad luck. Only the failure to make good decisions. And the failure to embrace every opportunity to learn, every minute of every day. Its hard enough being born a woman. Lets help each other end the mess rich white men have made. Women are the stronger sex. Let them lead the way.”
The layered harmony on Dumber Than Dumb is Taylor Twain.
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Dumber Than Dumb
We’re trained to obey,
let the worst succeed.
We’re taught how not to read,
vote the lowest-to-lead.
We watch them kill kids
every moment each day.
While we give thanks and pray,
let God lead the way
My brain feels numb.
We’re so dumb we don’t know how dumb we’ve become.
Dumbed down dumber than dumb.
Dumber than dumb.
That’s how dumb we’ve become.
Manifest our destiny.
Raising up our mediocrity
Speculating dishonestly.
How dumb we hope to be.
We kill kids every day,
every possible way.
We starve and explode them.
Remove their heads.
Do what we must,
be sure they’re dead.
My brain feels numb.
We’re so dumb we don’t know
how dumb we’ve become.
Dumbed down dumber than dumb.
Dumber than dumb.
That’s how dumb we’ve become.
The few who stole the rights our fathers fought to earn.
War is wrong, we know that's true.
Kill-kids ain’t war. It’s what child-killers do.
History will judge them all.
The leader class destined to fall.
Justify their killing ways.
With words of praise.
Just words of praise.
My brain feels numb.
We’re so dumb we don’t know how dumb we’ve become.
Dumbed down dumber than dumb.
Dumber than dumb.
That’s how dumb we’ve become.
So dumb we don’t now how dumb we are.
That’s how dumb we’ve become.
Dumber than dumb.
That’s how dumb we’ve become.